How Emotionally Intelligent Are You Really?10 Questions for Assessing Your Ability to Keep Your Cool

A few weeks ago I was taking my son to school in the midst of a snow storm. As I pulled into the student drop-off at the high school, I noticed a woman who was getting into her car as I was waiting to move forward. I was about up to her car when she got in, and started to back out. As there wasn't really room for her to pull out, so I pulled forward past her. Her rear lights went on and she started to back out just as I passed her. Read more

February 16, 2017 Read more Results Emotional Intelligence

Are You Creating a Culture of Inclusion? 12 Steps for Building a More Collaborative Culture

With recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, Baltimore, Maryland, among other places around the country, and with the election of Donald Trump, people’s positions and opinions have become more and more polarized. Civil discourse and meaningful dialogue have been replaced by rancor, accusation, disrespectful language, and wild speculation unbefitting a civil and democratic society. Read more

February 2, 2017 Read more Leadership Change Conversation

11 Telltale Signs That You Are Not Talking About What Matters Most

Recently one of my trainees went through her annual performance review. She received an unsatisfactory rating in one area because her manager told her that she was too argumentative. When she asked what that meant, she was told that she asked too many questions. Read more

January 19, 2017 Read more Communication Leadership

Are You Set to Succeed in 2017? Nine Questions to Improve Your Results

One of the greatest challenges of running the river in Grand Canyon is learning how to navigate the rapids. There is an average of one rapid every half mile from Lee’s Ferry, Arizona to Pierce Ferry on Lake Mead, Nevada, a distance of over 283 miles. In order to run these rapids successfully, Read more

January 5, 2017 Read more Results Change

Are We Becoming Past Feeling? Eight Ways to Bring More Light to Your Holiday Season

As the year comes to an end, I have become increasingly disturbed at some of the behavior that we have witnessed this year. How can we justify a person driving their car into a group of innocent bystanders? Or a group of young boys lighting a handicapped boy on fire because he was different? Or when was it ever appropriate to burn and destroy the property of others as a way of expressing disagreement? Can we judge others based solely on opinion in the absence of concrete evidence? Read more

December 20, 2016 Read more Results Influence Relationships

Do You Empower Your People? 10 Strategies for Empowering Others

When I was in my first job in corporate America, I had a one-of-a-kind manager. The first thing he did when meeting with me was to ask me what I wanted to become and what my vision of my future career looked like. I really hadn’t given it much thought, and so I candidly told him so. Always abounding in patience, he began by asking me a series of well-thought out questions that made me think. Read more

December 15, 2016 Read more Leadership Results

Will You Pay It Forward? Seven Tips for Making a Difference

This past week I was shocked to read about two passengers on a flight who evidently started a fight over their different political views. The pilot went on a rant over the plane’s intercom taking the fighting passengers to task to defuse the situation. With all the divisiveness that seems to be going on right now, each of us ought to put a particular emphasis during the upcoming holiday to go out of our way to make life more rewarding for one another. Read more

November 21, 2016 Read more Results Influence

Managing Emotions in the Workplace

I recently had a team ask me if emotional displays were appropriate in the workplace. When I asked them what they meant, they shared with me that one member of their team would sometimes cry when discussing topics that were relevant to his or her work. I took the time to explore the situation with the person. I concluded that his or her behavior resulted because some team members didn’t see the issue in the same way or feel as passionately as they did about the situation that was being discussed. When we consider the appropriateness of emotional displays, the expression of emotion could be placed along a continuum from aggressive or “hot” to passive or “cold.” Obviously when someone begins to shout, demean, or use derogatory terms, the person who is confronted by such behavior will usually respond in two ways: they will respond in kind and meet “hot” emotion with “hot” emotion, or they will completely shut down. Read more

October 18, 2016 Read more Engagement Emotional Intelligence

Are You Answering the Call? 13 Questions to Improve the Quality of Your Leadership

One day this week when I was working at home the upstairs phone began to ring. Since I was busy, I ignored the call, figuring the answering machine would pick it up. During the next hour, the phone rang at least three more times. Read more

September 27, 2016 Read more Leadership Results

Do You Communicate to Control or to Connect?

Years ago I started to notice that the way I spoke to my children did not produce the desired results. I remember one day when my oldest brought home a B- in math, and I said something like, “You got a B- in math? What happened?” Immediately my spouse responded with, “Some kind of a communication expert you are!” Read more

September 20, 2016 Read more Communication Influence

Are You Mentally Tough? 8 Tips to Improve Your Success

A number of years ago, one of my sons tried out for the junior high basketball team. Unfortunately, he did not make the team. He returned home being even more deflated because he was offered a position as the team manager, a position he turned down. Rather than sulk and engage in self-pity, he went to work. He devised a plan to improve his skills, so that he could make the team as a sophomore. Read more

September 16, 2016 Read more Results Critical Thinking

Can You Help Others to Understand a Different Perspective? Seven Steps for Increasing Understanding

Being in the business of leadership development, I frequently encounter individuals who believe that they know everything about a topic. This assumption of “I’m right, and you’re wrong,” has such a limiting effect on a person’s ability to learn or even consider other viewpoints that it is well worth our reflection. Read more

September 9, 2016 Read more Communication Engagement Results

How to Know if You are a Fake Talker (Part 3)

Earlier in the year, I identified 14 fake talk tactics (Part 1; Part 2) that people often employ that don’t improve the quality of our conversations. These were helpful in identifying a fake talker. Because some of you have repeatedly asked me for other examples, I have identified another set of behaviors that keep us from talking about what matters most. Read more

September 2, 2016 Read more Results Styles Awareness

How Well Do You Do Empathy? The Secret to Understanding and Connecting with Others

This summer my son, Matthew, and some of his mountain-biking friends decided to ride their bikes down a fairly steep hill. Matt, on a dare, decided to go first. As he sped down the hill, he hit a small dirt mound that catapulted him 10 feet in the air. He came over the handlebars and landed on his shoulder, severing his clavicle from the growth plate on his right shoulder. When I finally arrived on the scene, I knew something was terribly wrong when we removed his t-shirt and could see his clavicle sticking up under the skin. Read more

August 25, 2016 Read more

5 Questions That Can Change Your Life

Sometimes we are simply unconsciously conscious. We walk around in the light of day, but we are unaware of where we are, where we’re going, or what we’re doing. Read more

August 22, 2016 Read more Communication Critical Thinking